Mobius
by shadow priestess
Summary: AU, maybe KH (see note). Hiei is abused and has never known love or kindness. Shuuichi is adored and has never wanted for anything. They say that opposites attract: is it because they're different, or because they have everything in common?
1. setting the standard

Disclaimer- Why do you insist on rubbing it in?

AN- I cannot claim responsibility for trying to abuse Hiei any further. _That_ came from the fanfic Dark Skies, Bright Heavens. If you have not read that, and know a thing about Sailor Moon, you must read away. I don't _care_ if Sailor Moon is the most juvenile series since Detective Conan. It's still good.

About the pairing type thing, it very much begs to be written into this story. Kurama and Hiei are adorable together, and I will not tolerate them with anyone else (besides me, of course. .). However, there lies one obstacle in the path of their eternal happiness, and that is the fact that I am incapable of writing romance. We'll see if I can fix that before the end of the story…

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_yami ni matataku hoshi_

_omae mo kitto hagurete_

_tooi ashita o sagasu no_

_niteru ne watashitachi_

star that twinkles in the dark

surely you too are lost,

seeking a distant tomorrow

we're a lot alike, aren't we?

I wish (Fushigi Yuugi Yui character song)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

There are those people who say that all parents love their children. Somewhere inside, they argue, all of them care. Takahashi Hiei knew this to be the biggest load of crap he had ever heard in his fifteen years of existence, and he had the scars to prove it. Down his back, across his chest, at the nape of his neck, on his right arm… all souvenirs of a father's adoration for his son.

Hiei had been born a twin, but he had never spoken to his sister. She had been taken by her mother when they were born, leaving their father to take care of his son, a small, sullen baby. That was perhaps where the abuse had begun: in his father's mind, one mental assault after another. Then had come that one fateful day, his seventh birthday, when everything had fallen apart. One of his classmates had teased him for being short, and the next thing he knew, the girl was on the ground and he was daring her to repeat her statement. The incident had not made the older Takahashi happy, and coupled with his demotion at work, he had had only the cruelest of words for his young son.

From then on, it was never praise the dark-haired child received. Despite his need to be accepted, to be loved, he was never good enough to deserve it. He still remembered the day in fifth grade when he finally became worthy of something more- being slapped. That was the last time he looked his father in the eye, and the last time he reacted to any pain he inflicted. Two words as evidence that he was truly inferior. Stop… please.

Amidst all this suffering, there are also those people who _believe_ that all parents love their children. Among this number we can safely count Minamino Shuuichi. He lived what we like to call a charmed life, the sort of thing that would have gotten him beaten up if that wasn't precisely _how_ charmed he was. People recoiled at the idea of hitting him, because to strike such a beautiful, intelligent, kind, generous person was equivalent to murder.

There was an ease with which he achieved everything from being top of his class to fending off crowds of admirers, an ease which endeared him even further to all who knew him. At sixteen, he had the whole world as his domain.

A Möbius strip is a very curious thing. When you first lay eyes on it, it is convoluted, but with two distinct, opposite sides. Upon closer inspection, though, it becomes clear that these two sides were but one side all along.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The sun rained light onto Shuuichi, turning his hair into red flame as he took the final step into Meiou High School. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw no girls in the hallway: he had chosen his entrance well.

"Minamino!"

Turning, Shuuichi saw his math sensei walking up with a broad smile.

"Your score on the competition we did last week was the highest in the nation. Omedetou!"

"Arigatou gozaimashita," he replied graciously, trying to remember exactly to what he was referring. Oh yes: he had done the ten problems under the impression that they were merely for "enrichment". Yunsensei alone understood that pressure was murderous, especially to someone of his caliber, one of the traits that made him Shuuichi's favorite teacher.

The bell rang behind them, prompting teacher and student to walk amiably to class.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Now, it has come to my attention that some of you find the homework I assign to be too difficult," Yunsensei began, open expression inviting comments from the class.

They stirred immediately, with murmurs of assent filling the room. It was obvious who the mediocre students were from their remarks, as those at the very top and very bottom of the class remained indifferent, albeit for opposite reasons.

"I assure you that all- most," he amended with a barely perceptible glance at Shuuichi, "of you need this much extra work to succeed. However, I am not _entirely_ without heart."

A few giggles could be heard, mostly from those girls who divided their hyperactive and very unwanted attentions between Shuuichi and their teacher.

"I will be assigning each of you a partner with whom to complete homework. Of course you will not be penalized if your partner does not do his or her assignment, but the goal is for you to help each other."

Shuuichi cowered almost instantly under the weight of the stares and hopeful looks from a good ninety percent of the class, boys and girls. Shaking his head in amusement, Yunsensei pulled out a neatly arranged list from a drawer.

"I have chosen these pairs with some regard to your class ranking and gender. There is no purpose in two people who can both do the work finishing it together. First group, Minamino Shuuichi and Takahashi Hiei. Next, Kaitou Yuu and Satou Okuna. Third, Itetsu Yukina and Konomi Suzuna…"

The rest of the list was lost on Shuuichi, staring in shock at the small teenager in the corner whose face dared him to speak. This was going to be a painfully long year…

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

THE END. Of the chapter, that is. Umm… thanks for reading all this way…I know it was pretty lame how I dumped the two of them together but I was sleepy and I couldn't think of anything better. You'll see; the thing gets really weird. Shuuichi looks like he has a great life, but you start to realize just how bitter he is after a while. I have great sympathy for people who are "perfect" because nobody can understand what it means. It really _is_ a Mobius strip between the best and the worst.

Updates, if there are any, will be infrequent at best. I used to say reviews sped the whole process up, but that's a lie and I know it. This time, I've started the next chapter and I actually know where I want the fic to go, though, so we'll see. Reviews are good for me!! (Please? Don't patronize me, but do leave a comment…)


	2. home sweet home

Disclaimer- Oh shut up…

AN- Thanks for all the reviews, guys, they made me feel sparkly inside. It's been so long since I've truly been alive… the nostalgia is overwhelming. I'm trying to stay on track with this story. I realized a while into this chapter that I'd forgotten the actual premise, which is Hiei getting beaten. I'm so lame… I apologise in advance, by the way, if the number of little ooooo's gets on your nerves, but I was thinking in terms of a movie where you cut from scene to scene, domestic happiness to failureness.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_daremo ga egao no oku_

_itami o kakaeta mama_

_ikiteiru yo_

everyone lives on

pain hidden

deep within a smile

(Everlasting Story (Satou Akemi))

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So…" Shuuichi began uncomfortably, not quite meeting the other boy's narrowed crimson eyes. "When do you want to do this chapter's homework? I mean, would Friday work?"

"Whatever," he hissed, a sense of urgency in his deep voice. "I have to go, _now_." Even as he spoke, he started walking away from Shuuichi with a rather impressive turn of speed.

"What time can you come?" he called.

"I don't _care_!" Hiei flung back, steps quickening further. If he was late getting home again, there would be hell and more to pay. It just figured he would get perfect Minamino Shuuichi for a partner; he would probably actually have to go do the work. Like he had the time…

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Tadaima!" Shuuichi placed his shoes neatly against the wall, took his books to his room, and went to the kitchen to greet his mother.

"Okaeri," she said with a smile. "How was your day?"

"Fine." He opened the refrigerator, pulling out a carton of milk and pouring himself a cup. "I have to do my math stuff with a partner now. He's not very nice, but then I haven't really talked to him very much."

"I'm sure it will work out."

"Sou, sou!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A barely audible creak sounded as Hiei pushed the door open cautiously. Years of practice had taught him the arts of silence and speed, vital to survival in his home, at least assuming that was the correct term for the dark apartment he inhabited. He prepared to bolt to his room, preferably escaping detection by the drunken figure lying on the couch.

"Where were you?"

The slurred voice grated on his hypersensitive ears and he froze in place. Taking a deep breath to calm his suddenly racing heart, he took an extra second to eliminate any possibility of sarcasm in his voice. He had paid dearly for it the last time.

"School."

Takahashi Kizato stood up, notoriously fiery temper sparked. "Don't lie to me, brat. You're late today."

An apology was hardly going to change anything, he knew. Hiei braced himself.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Nobunaga Oda… Hideyoshi… Tokugawa… Tokugawa…."

The room fell silent as Shuuichi wrote the names, forming each character with care. History was not his favorite subject, but he did very well in it, as with all of his classes.

"Let's see… Tokugawa Ieyasu… soshite… Tokugawa Hidetada…"

Yawning, he turned off the lamp by his desk and began to get ready for bed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Dammit."

Hiei huddled in the bathroom, trying to wash off the blood on his arms. He felt nauseous; he would have thrown up if he had had anything to eat in the past twenty-four hours. It seemed he would not have time to finish his homework again.

"_Damn_…"

It was true, he supposed. He really _was_ as useless as his father thought.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Where did you have to go yesterday that was so important?" There was a hint of a sulk in Shuuichi's voice as he addressed his indifferent partner. In addition to shunning the required pink uniform, Hiei had done something _weird_ to his arm. Did he think he was cool, imitating demon bonding?

There was something absolutely infuriating about the shorter boy's expression as he looked at Shuuichi. "Home," he replied in a condescending tone. "You know, where people live."

"Where the heart is?" he asked, half joking.

Just like that, Hiei's expression shut down. Red eyes went blank, and his mouth set itself into a stubborn line.

Sensing that he had said something wrong, Shuuichi shifted uncomfortably and changed the subject. "Ummm… So if Friday's fine for doing the homework, what time do you think you can come over? Any time's good for me."

Hiei seriously considered telling the redhead precisely where he should go and what he should do to himself there, but Shuuichi continued on obliviously, presumably talking to himself.

"I was thinking six or something. We could fit in dinner, you know, so we don't have to work the whole time."

The idea of dinner definitely appealed to Hiei, who snapped to attention instantly. The sweet bun he had managed to pick up on the way to school was for him the epitome of a good meal but he was aware that some people actually consumed real food on a regular basis, and judging by Shuuichi's accursedly healthy appearance, he was one of them.

"I'll see," he growled. "Maybe I'll come."

Taking that as a yes, Shuuichi beamed and began to walk to class.

Hiei frowned suddenly. How in the world was he going to get his father to agree to this?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yeah, this chapter is kind of short and not that well done even by my standards… but I was sort of in what might have passed for writer's block. Maybe? Sometimes when I write a story I know exactly where I want it to go and then I don't want to waste time writing all the filler leading up to the massive climax. And then sometimes I write run-on sentences and forget the punctuation… .

In any case, I hope to do something useful with this fic. So many fics out there are incredibly formulaic. They're a vaguely entertaining read, but every character is written as having two (or fewer) dimensions. Hiei is portrayed as this unemotional guy who suddenly discovers he has feelings (where'd those come from?), and Kurama is just some guy who happens to love Hiei. Very few people actually go into the emotions behind the two. I don't think I'm remotely doing it justice either, but I would like to try.

These notes are far too long… oh well… do keep the reviews coming… They truly make me happy.


	3. the source of pain

Disclaimer: I don't know why I bother with this…

AN: I'm such a lazy bum… As of now, updates will be based on the approximate formula t equals (r-14)squared/13, where r is the number of reviews I get three days after posting, and t is the number of days until the next post. (So I'm bored. Shaddup.) Hehe… I post chapters as soon as I can get them typed, but that can happen in bursts. I'm trying to keep myself on a schedule, and this is the best I could come up with. Pathetic, I know.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_marude subete no koto ga_

_umaku iiteru ka no you ni_

_mieru yo ne_

_hontou wa_

_futari shika shiranai_

it looks like

absolutely everything

is working out perfectly

only the two of them know

the truth

(Appears (Ayumi Hamasaki))

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

There was a slight stir in the halls of Meiou High as the latest rankings were posted and students compared results. Even the girls who congratulated him did not notice Minamino Shuuichi breathe a sigh of relief when he saw his name come first once more.

"Neeee Minaminosan, you did it again!"

"Stupid, he's first every time!"

"Almost full points!"

"He's so smart… nobody else can compare."

"I can't believe anyone would even try."

"Hahaha…"

With a tired smile, Shuuichi detached himself from the crowd and walked over to the last name on the wall.

"Yappari…" he said softly.

"Think that's funny, do you?" Hiei leaned against the wall, arms crossed defensively, though with a certain sort of caution due to his wounds, which quite ruined the overall effect. "Come to have a laugh at my scores?"

Shuiichi shook his head vehemently, shocked that anyone would even imply that he would do such a mean-spirited thing. As though finalizing its existence, he gave the name and the score beneath it one last stare before speaking again. "How did you do it? Less than three hundred points…"

He glared. "Oh, I forgot. Perfect Minamino got four hundred ninety-eight. So sorry I don't _study_ for my tests, unlike certain teacher's pets."

"Why not?" Shuuichi asked, cocking his head with an innocently curious expression.

There was silence from the spiky-haired teen as he thought of what a truthful answer to that question would be: that he couldn't have studied because he was being beaten for the sinful act of existing, and that when he wasn't being beaten, he was nursing his wounds. That every day he went home he prayed to any god who would listen to have his father die in some sort of accident, and that every day his pleading went unanswered. That every blow to his frail body was an assault on his self-worth, so much that he didn't even believe in himself enough to let himself open a book.

"There's more to life than studying, Minamino," he snarled finally.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was early when Hiei reached his father's apartment, early enough that he stood outside for a while before going in, lest he be accused of skipping school. His memory offered up an image of a possible result if accused, borrowed from an incident two months prior, which involved his back in the mirror and a good deal of blood. Counting down the seconds on his watch, a beat-up specimen of black plastic lifted from a gutter, he began to walk very slowly to the door as though it might have torn his head off.

As it turned out, his wariness was rather useless, as all he found was a messy note in his father's handwriting, a message that brought a warm and fuzzy feeling to his heart.

"Not here. Back in a week. Find your own food."

"Wow," he muttered, shaking his head in disgust. It was just like the man to set off like that, knowing full well that his son had no money. Still, starving was definitely preferable to being beaten, and then there was the meal at Shuuichi's house to keep him alive. Yeah, things were looking up.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So… you're coming?" Shuuichi asked with this impossibly wide grin that would have made Hiei want to punch his face in if the teen hadn't been his meal ticket. "That's great; I already told kaasan you'd be there. We're gonna be having pretty simple stuff… hope you don't mind."

Mind? Hiei looked at him as though he were absolutely bonkers.

Taking his partner's gaping expression the wrong way, Shuuichi quickly backtracked. "I mean… if it's a problem, I can tell kaasan to make something else. I'm sure she can find something, you know…"

"It's okay!" Hiei interjected immediately. The less of a pain he was, the more often he could go over, or so the thinking went.

"Oh… all right then…" he said, still unsure. "Umm… then I'll see you then. I have some stuff to finish up, you know. Science project with Itetsusan." Waving rather apologetically, he started to walk in the direction of the building.

"Itetsusan…?"

"Itetsu Yukina," he clarified, turning back around. "Do you know her? She's in our class, actually. Certainly offers Kaitou a good deal of competition."

"But not you?" Hiei asked with anger running in currents under his offhand voice. Sure, he was the only person who knew she was his twin (shhh, don't tell!), but that didn't mean he wasn't honor-bound to defend her intelligence.

He flushed with embarrassment. "I didn't mean it that way…"

Somehow Hiei felt that Shuuichi _had_ meant it that way. Why wouldn't he have? It was so natural for him to be above everyone else that it should not even have occurred to him to acknowledge others' abilities as on his level. It would not have made sense.

"Well, later…"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"How about I do the odd numbered problems and you do the evens?"

There was a brief shuffling of papers as Hiei flipped around in his book. "But… the answers to the evens aren't in the back. It's just the odds."

Shuuichi's face was an interesting blend of pain and irony. "I _know_. That's the point. You can't really expect to do well in school if you aren't willing to do any of the work, Takahashisan."

"Maybe I don't want to do well," Hiei pointed out condescendingly.

"I think you do," Shuuichi said, very much like a child. "You're at Meiou, aren't you? It's one of the best high schools around. It's not like you don't know what you're doing. I don't think you're applying yourself."

Perhaps if it had been any other day, Hiei would have let that statement slide with only a death glare or a brief sarcastic remark, but the stress of everything in the past few days hit him all at once, and he couldn't just let it go.

"_Some_ of us can't get ahead just by _applying_ ourselves," he said acidly. "Not everyone can just play around all day, sit back and relax, and just wait for their top results to come out. Not everyone has their whole life handed to them on a silver platter."

The redhead gaped. "Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how much work I have to do just to stay ahead? All the other students can just study enough to pass. I have to get nearly perfect scores on everything or I'll lose the respect of my mom, the teachers, my classmates… Can you think what would happen to my reputation if Kaitou beat me even once? I have to be perfect or I won't be myself. Nobody sees me; they see someone who's supposed to be a genius. I'd _rather_ fail in everything."

Silence as Hiei thought it over.

"I think you're just being selfish," he concluded finally. "You have no idea what other people have to put up with. Look at you. I bet you're your parents' precious golden child."

"Parent. My father died when I was very young."

The shock was there, but Hiei overlooked his own tactlessness amidst what might have been jealousy. What he wouldn't give to live like that… but he knew maybe that wasn't fair.

"And my mom might not…" he trailed off, unwilling to finish the sentence lest it become truth. "She's very ill, and the doctors don't know if they can do anything for her. Nobody knows if… You don't care at all, do you?"

Hiei did not answer.

An expression of frustrated annoyance flitted across Shuuichi's face before he collected himself and became once more the calm, understanding, mature student. "Fine. Tell me if you need me to explain any of the even problems. I'm more than happy to help."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiei was in a decidedly good mood as he left Shuuichi's house and began the long trek back home. His conversation with the other teen had been a bit unnerving, but the food had been good, and he was looking forward to a night alone. Perhaps he would even manage to get some studying in. It wasn't like he actually _did_ want to be last every time…

The crisp night air filled suddenly with muffled cursing as Hiei approached his house and saw quite clearly that all the lights were on.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Cliffhanger? Maybe so…

I thought I knew exactly where this was going, down to the fact that it would be very short, but now I know it's going to be one long ride. Hopefully I can churn out the next chapter according to my fake formula. We'll see…

Random reviewer babble…. A-chan-otaku, I have no earthly clue if they're humans or demons yet. I mean, right now they're human, but if I really need to do it I want to be able to change them to demons on the fly. (Heh…) Oh, and Hiei no Minarai, hi and thanks for pointing out the pi thing. Pi is an ingrained part of my consciousness, so I can't type as fast as I can say it, which is at about ten digits a second, which is really freaky. Hehehehehehe.

Do review, please… it's nice to know who's reading and what they think.


	4. oblivion I

Disclaimer- Once upon a time, there was a man named Togashi Yoshihiro, who was brilliant and came up with YYH. He then fled to America, got a gender change and a penname on FF... not.

AN- On the 11th of October, 2004, I submitted my 1,000th review. I just think that's really cool and that I'm probably insanely unique as someone who reviews everything she reads. Heh.

I just found out that "karasu" means "to kill a plant". NOBODY TOLD ME THIS! WHY NOT?!

The quote, by the way, is out of the ninth volume of Ayashi no Ceres, where Aya (the main character) withdraws into herself because she can't handle reality.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_koko... nante shizuka na n daro_

_nan no oto mo shinai_

_nanimo mienai_

_zutto kou shiteyou... _

_daremo to mo kakawarazu ni irareru_

_mou daremo kizukezu ni..._

_kizukazu ni...sumu----_

this place... is so quiet...

there's no sound

I can't see anything

I'll stay like this forever...

without associating with anyone else

I can live... without hurting anyone ever again...

without being hurt by anyone ever again---

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The first thing that struck Hiei about the apartment was that it was deathly silent. The lights were undeniably bright, but there was no sound of bottles smashing, no muffled cursing. There were perhaps two possible interpretations of this situation. Either his father was asleep, which would have been very good, or he was _not_ asleep, which would have been very bad, as that probably meant he was too drunk to bother throwing things when there was a living punching bag on the way.

In a rather uncharacteristic gesture, Hiei crossed his fingers and glided to the door.

A footstep sounded, and that was when he knew he was screwed.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When he thought about it, which he didn't do that often, he supposed that being beaten on an almost daily basis had never seemed _strange_. It didn't even hurt, not like it really should have. It was just something that happened to him, another part of his life. It was to him as being praised was to Shuuichi- meaningless, something during which you daydream. After a while, it all becomes rather monotonous, and you start to think everyone's like that. On a subconscious level, Hiei believed that all parents beat their children, and Shuuichi believed that everyone was gifted enough to succeed.

It's all a matter of perception, but perception can bring about tragic results.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maybe they should have wondered, the people in neighboring apartments. Why they almost never saw Hiei. Why they never heard him... why he was the only child anyone of them knew who "got into fights". If they had even taken a moment to consider, it may have seemed obvious- the alcohol, the sullen attitudes of father and son, the occasional yelling, and the bloody clothes that sometimes found their way out.

Whenever his father raised his hand, Hiei would huddle down immediately and refuse to move, scream, whimper, beg, or react at all until it was over. There was no need, after all. Nobody would have helped him. His father would not have been moved, having long ago given up any illusion of beating him for anything he in particular had done. This meant, to his detached mind, that _he_ was not the one being abused and therefore it was all right not to pay attention. All the yelling, the screaming, the cursing... it was just static in the background.

He had yet to realize it, but meeting Shuuichi and his mother had changed him dramatically. Having never had real friends, he had had no idea that a parent could actually be _nice_ to a child. His carefully crafted world, where beatings were normal, was teetering dangerously on edge.

When people say that everyone should want better, they either don't really mean it or they're idealists. Discontent can only be found among selective numbers of people, lest society collapse. If we were to all be on top, who would ensure that we had someone to be on top of?

Choosing not to be a sacrifice is hardly conducive to society itself- or the newly liberated victim.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hieisan," Shuuichi called, gesturing for the shorter teen to walk closer to his desk.

"Don't be so familiar," he ordered sullenly, but he started moving, albeit rather jerkily.

Shuuichi noted the movements with vague interest. "Is something wrong? You look really tired. You've got huge bags under your eyes." He reached out toward what looked like a splash of red paint on Hiei's neck, and nearly fell over with shock as crimson eyes flashed dangerously, their owner jerking back suddenly.

"Don't _touch_ me."

"Gomen...

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Ehehe... Sorry about the abruptness and the shortness, but I have an excuse, I swear! It goes something like this: I was scheduled to update on Wednesday, October 20. On Sunday I decided that I was going to quit writing for a little while. So I did... until Wednesday, when I said, gee, I don't care if fanfiction is ruining my life. At which point I started to work some more, but then on THURSDAY, my life was turned upside down by the arrival of an exchange student of sorts. So I tried really hard, but this is all that comes up. Suman ne... next time I'll try to write more.... Good lord I'm lame.


	5. oblivion II

Disclaimer- Good lord, nobody's reading this anyways…

AN- Okay, here's the rest of the chapter and then some. I swear, I've lost control of the story. It's the first story I've ever written a plan for, and the plan was pretty crappy. It was like a list of junk, mostly involving what made Hiei tick. Hehehe… Now I'm lost.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hieisan," Shuuichi called, gesturing for the shorter teen to walk closer to his desk.

"Don't be so familiar," he ordered sullenly, but he started moving, albeit rather jerkily.

Shuuichi noted the movements with vague interest. "Is something wrong? You look really tired. You've got huge bags under your eyes." He reached out toward what looked like a splash of red paint on Hiei's neck, and nearly fell over with shock as crimson eyes flashed dangerously, their owner jerking back suddenly.

"Don't _touch_ me."

"Gomen…"

There was an extended moment of uncomfortable silence, with Shuuichi in shock at such a violent rebuff, and Hiei completely enraged that someone would try to touch him. You could just call it a misunderstanding: Shuuichi had no idea what he was doing was taboo, and Hiei didn't realize that it was possible for someone to be just concerned. But life isn't that shallow… is it.

"Gomen nasai," Shuuichi repeated, only vaguely aware that he had committed one of the worst transgressions imaginable, and desperate to somehow salvage the situation.

There was no response from Hiei, glaring with the fifteen years of shame and hatred he had never been able to express. It appeared he had finally found an outlet in Shuuichi, who was superficially everything he wasn't. Shuuichi the perfect, the adored, the genius… the boy who could soon become an orphan… a fact Hiei conveniently ignored in his bitterly one-sided assessment. It was not difficult to imagine that Shuuichi had never had an apology ignored. That he had already himself forgiven Shuuichi only made him angrier. It was patently _unfair_.

"Jaa, Shuuichi_san_," he snarled, piling on the sarcasm and leaning so hard on the last syllable that Shuuichi wondered that he didn't fall over. In fact he staggered as he began to walk, wounds protesting the unexpected movement.

"Minaminosan," a polite voice cut through the hum of the class.

Shuuichi looked up to see a smiling, aqua-haired girl. "Oh! Itetsusan."

A muffled "oof" sounded as Hiei stopped short, grabbing a desk for support.

"Is there something you need?"

Shyly, Yukina held out a neatly typed piece of paper. "I finished my part of the report a little early, so I thought I would give it to you in case you wanted to make any changes." Her speech was unique in the school- soft, each verb overflowing with humility, each noun preceded with an honorific, a direct contrast to her brother's.

"Arigatou. I'm sure it's fine." His smile lit up his entire face, causing her to blush the slightest bit and Hiei to begin mentally cursing him and his house for the next thirty-seven generations.

Almost as though he could sense the negative energy coming from behind him, Shuuichi turned around and cocked his head at the teen, currently trying to stand up straight while fixing an expression of intense loathing onto his child-like face.

"Takahashisan," Yukina acknowledged.

Something flickered on Hiei's face for the briefest moment as her polite voice washed over him. It felt nice, even gratifying, that his sister was currently in a state of not hating him, despite his certainty that all that would change if she found out he was her brother.

"You almost smiled!" Shuuichi exclaimed, surprised. Seeing his face settle immediately, the redhead pouted. "You did! I saw you!"

The bell rang, a harsh clanging that caused Yukina to start a little before bowing and leaving. Hiei followed her with what may have been construed as wistful eyes. He rather wished he could tell her who he was, but he wouldn't ruin her life, not for something as petty as his own happiness.

"She's nice, isn't she," Shuuichi remarked conversationally.

"Stay away from her," Hiei ordered before he could fully appreciate the implications of his statement.

Shuuichi's face went absolutely maniacal, a completely incongruous expression to the usual painfully nice/kind/considerate/perfect. It was rather disturbing, actually. "**_I_** see how it is."

"How what is?"

"_It_."

"What?!"

"_It_."

"WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!

"_It…_ is IT."

_'I will not throttle Shuuichi. I will not throttle Shuuichi. I will not…'_ He sat on his fingers to keep them from twitching. "What. Is. It."

"You."

A virtual vacuum formed around Hiei as he attempted to take a deep breath in order not to rip the other boy's head off. "What about me?!"

"You and…"

"AND WHAT?!"

"Itetsusan, of course." Shuuichi looked at him strangely. Had he seriously not gotten it?

"Huh? Oh. _Oh._ It's a bloody lie, whatever you're thinking," he responded automatically. Perhaps the most unfortunate side effect of Hiei's upbringing had been a lack of education in nearly all things emotional. He understood hatred, sadness, anger, jealousy and the sensation of really, really wanting to kill somebody, but that was about it. As such, it had never even occurred to him that he liked his sister in the first place. Watching over her was something he did because it was right, darned if he knew _why_ it was right. That somebody would read into that was, to him, downright weird.

"That's what they all say." Shuuichi flashed a quick grin to show that he was joking, partly. "Oh well. I was going to ask you when you wanted to do the homework thing again, you know…"

"Again?"

"It's kind of a long-term thing," he reminded him dryly.

A stabbing pain ran up Hiei's leg, serving as a wonderfully stark reminder of why he hated school. He had an idea of what he _could_ have said. "Oh but gee Shuuichisan, my daddy beats me when I do my homework. Heck, he beats me when I don't do my homework. And rice is really tasty but I really wanna be able to _swallow_, Shuuichisan!"

Yeah, that would go over well.

"Look, can we not do this? I really don't have time anymore."

A scandalized look swept over Shuuichi's face. "Not do homework? But we have to!"

"Not we, you."

A few seconds passed as Shuuichi considered this new development. He was never one to give up, especially in his continuing naïve view that Hiei could be insanely successful if only he tried. "How about lunch? We could do stuff during lunch…"

Mentally, Hiei disemboweled that horrible Shuuichi child. On the other hand, though, it wasn't like he actually had a lunch to eat in the first place. And it was extremely difficult to say no to someone with that hopeful of an expression… a plague on both his houses. "Sure fine whatever."

"Okay! Then I'll see you at lunch later!" The redhead practically _bounced_ out of the classroom, feeling warm and fuzzy with his new mission of Helping Hiei Do Good. The aforementioned subject watched him disbelievingly.

"He must be nuts. Yes. Nuts."

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Yaa ne. That was kind of filler, but you get the gist of some of their feelings. You notice that right now Shuuichi is pretty dedicated to Helping Hiei Do Good. That's rather important…

I really don't want this story to turn into a generic one, with Shuuichi helping Hiei, followed by their mutual confession of love and Hiei's requisite "Oh but I'm the FORBIDDEN CHILD" speech. I'm trying to make them true to life. Whether this applies to anyone else is up to them, but I personally feel that every story is an autobiography.

I love all my reviewers! All……… (briefly blinks at numbers) two of them. Cookies for both of you! And for Ciu Sune (currently Reviewer of the Century…) I came up with pretty much all of the ideas. I've ended up on this depressed, introspective tangent lately. Thus, painting this story into complex emotions. For many aspects that I've thought out, I only know how they feel, but not exactly what happens. (This is what happens when you don't go outside enough). Yeah, and the name "Karasu" does mean "crow", but if you write it with different kanji it becomes "kill a plant", which I think is _awesome_.

Please review… this update is three days early, but 'cause I was two days late last time… ha! I really am following my formula!


	6. the mark of jealousy

Disclaimer- I give up. Completely. My parents won't take me to Japan so I can get Togashisama to sign YYH over to me.

AN- Ha! Four reviews! Eat that... umm… people who get a lot more than four reviews! Ch'… I guess I was spoiled by my years in the FY section, where I could just sit back relax, and get twenty reviews on a chapter. (That, by the way, is a lie; I only did that once and the fic was subsequently deleted by FF in a mind-bogglingly weird move).

The quote this time really suits the chapter, I think. I've always liked Ayu's lyrics better than her music…

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_jibun yori mo fukou na hito o _

_mite wa sukoshi nagusamerare_

_jibun yori mo shiawase na hito_

_mitsuketa nara kyuu ni asetteru_

_dakedo kitto dakara tokidoki_

_dou shiyou mo naku_

_mijime na sugata ni ki ga tsuite_

_genjitsu ni butsukaru…_

I'm a little comforted when I see

someone unhappier than me

I'm suddenly impatient when I see

someone happier than me

but surely that's why once in a while

I can't help but realize

how miserable I am

and I come into contact with reality

(end of the world (Ayumi Hamasaki))

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There is a word for what people thought Shuuichi was- saint. It wasn't conscious, but when somebody is "perfect", you just attach that to them. Maybe he _was_ a saint. Who is to judge? But there was one thing he knew, and that was that his behavior toward Hiei was anything but saintly.

It had started all right. He had truly wanted Hiei to move up. The more he thought about it, though, the more he realized it was just a pity project. A genius helping someone of lesser intellect, of no threat to his standings.

Then Hiei started to improve.

It had taken only a week for him to surpass many of those in front of him, which had further strengthened Shuuichi's opinion of Hiei as a former slacker. The boy was brilliant, even if he didn't show it. There were times when he found a solution faster than his tutor- the first warning sign.

Without perfection, Shuuichi was nothing. This he knew, and this he had told Hiei that first day. As the former delinquent moved up more and more, he began to pose a threat to Shuuichi's perfection. And Shuuichi, the kind, the considerate… he began to believe that Hiei had done it to spite him. Where once he had urged Hiei to try each problem, he began to subtly discourage the younger boy. He would wave off concepts as "probably not important", leaving Hiei in the dark. Still, even he realized that was the only thing keeping Hiei from surpassing him, and it made him angrier to think that the margin was decided by Hiei's ignorance, so easily remedied.

If only he'd known what Hiei went through every day. Then maybe he wouldn't have fallen into exactly the same bitterness…

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"When do _you _eat?" Shuuichi asked Hiei casually, taking a bite out of his own lunch. "You never bring food here."

"So what if I don't?" Hiei snarled, mentally attempting to remember when he had last eaten anything worth mentioning. He had stolen… borrowed… a roll on the way home the previous day, had a vague recollection of some sort of fruit in the past week, and a _definite_ memory of food at Shuuichi's. Although that had been a seriously long time a---

An apple fell into his lap.

"Here."

"Huh?"

"It's for you."

Hiei stared at it. He may have thought himself a worthless piece of pond scum, but he had pride, if nothing else. And if that pride meant he would starve to death, so be it. "I don't want it."

At that, Shuuichi grabbed his hand and forced him to take the apple. "Come on, you're completely anorexic. You should eat it, it's good for you."

"Oh, now you're my doctor?" But that food was looking so appealing… He shook his head and slammed his textbook open, pointedly starting on a problem. "How do I change sine to cosine?"

"Square root of one minus cosine squared," Shuuichi answered automatically before glaring. "Don't change the subject."

Catlike, Hiei leaned back and stretched. "What subject?" Damned if he was going to let Shuuichi poke into his life, which was quite undeniably none of his business. It just wasn't enough that the perfect, never-been-hit angel face had to _be_ perfect and never hit. No, he had to rub it in too.

Shuuichi threw up his hands. "Fine! Be that way."

"I will, thank you very much."

"Absolutely hopeless."

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The sun was bright that day, warming two boys sitting out on the grass, saving the world, one math problem at a time. The scene looked so idyllic, it would be hard to believe the unconscious animosity. Actually, in Shuuichi's shame over his negativity, he had quite gone over to the other side trying to overcome it.

"Ne, Hieisan?"

He raised lazy, crimson eyes. "Don't be so familiar." Shuuichi pouted, and he recanted. "What?"

"What is there really between you and Itetsusan?"

The unexpected question almost made Hiei fall over flat on the grass. "Huh?" Squinting, he attempted an estimate. "I'd say… a hundred meters, give or take a few hundred."

"Yeah, very funny."

"I thought so too."

"I'm being seriously here." Shuuichi looked at him straight on with innocent green eyes. "You're always watching her in class and stuff, and you look a lot happier whenever she's around."

"What's it to you?"

"I'm just curious. Come on, if you like her, I'd be happy to mediate for you."

One could have frozen flames with Hiei's glare. "I don't need your help, Minaminosan."

"Aha! So you _do_ like her!"

"No!"

"The more someone denies it, the more in love they are!"

"I'm not denying it!"

"Uh huh."

"I'm not in _love_ with her; she's my SISTER!" Hiei blinked. Had he let that slip? Eternal curses.

"Come again?"

"Nothing."

"No, really, did I hear you right? You're her brother? I distinctly remember she's an only child." Shuuichi thought very hard about this for a moment. His memory was impeccable. It was inconceivable that he would have forgotten or mistaken something like that.

Hiei mumbled something.

"Hm?"

"Isaidshedoesn'tknow."

That had been most definitely not what Shuuichi had expected to hear. He eyed Hiei with an expression that clearly told the dark-haired boy that he was stark, raving mad. "Why haven't you told her?"

"She's perfectly happy without a brother."

"She needs to know!" Shuuichi exclaimed indignantly. "If you don't tell her tomorrow, I will!"

"NO!" Hiei nearly yelled. "No," he repeated more calmly. "She doesn't need a brother, especially one like me. If she knew, she'd just hate me." Like everyone else. Who would want to be related to him…

"Fine. I won't tell." Shuuichi conceded defeat, fully prepared to tell Yukina or at least point her in the correct direction should the next day come without a revelation. He didn't understand, couldn't have understood, why Hiei kept such a secret. "But I think you should tell her."

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Hiei was cursing to himself as he headed home. It just figured he'd let it slip to Shuuichi, probably the only person who would have made it a mission to have the truth revealed. In fact, he was so distracted that he didn't notice that the apartment was silent once more until he opened the door and saw his father standing there, holding a letter in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. He forced himself to ignore it, carefully placing his bookbag down against the wall and changing his school shoes to slippers.

"How do you explain this?" Kizato waved the paper in his son's face.

"Hm?" Hiei picked it up curiously. Mail regarding him very rarely came. He skimmed it, confused. It was a letter from the school detailing his tremendous progress over the course of the last month. There was nothing negative at all, just praise for what he had accomplished. "Umm… what about it?"

"Don't give me that. If you could do so well before, why didn't you? School isn't free, you know."

A moment of shock preceded Hiei's comprehension of his father's statement. If that wasn't twisted, he had no idea what was. He knew where this was leading up to- a beating for the sin of succeeding. He couldn't have known that his father had just been fired (again) from his latest job for turning up at work drunk. That the school had also sent a letter that day requesting that tuition be paid.

"What the hell did I do to deserve a son like you?"

Hiei braced himself instantly. Already he was shuddering with the anticipation of the sensation of broken glass against his back. What had he done indeed…

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Whoo. That was the chapter… I think it's a little rushed, but I wasn't sure what to put in between. The story's taken on more of a Stupid Humorous Conversation theme, which is all right for amusement, but kind of doesn't make things as happy… oh well. I'm having a lot of fun. This is going to be epic if I finish it, most definitely. If you haven't caught it, Hiei's becoming more Shuuichilike, and Shuuichi's soon going to head into rebellion. Both will become twisted versions of the other; that is, if I can pull it off.

Thanks for the reviews, to all, and really confused brownies to people who put me on their author alerts but have never reviewed my fics. Who ARE you people? Oh, and Pickles, the "mobius" thing is explained in chapter one… (that actually takes me a while to remember). Yareyare, please review! (Coincidentally, I've been applying my formula the wrong way… I've been updating everything three days early, but it doesn't really matter because I don't expect to get double digit reviews anytime soon.) Anyways, 'till the next chapter.


	7. to dream: a precious secret

Disclaimer- _mou juubun, atashi wa! Yuu Yuu Hakusho tte koto, watashi no ja nai yo! aa itta yo... kurushii ne, kurushii. _

AN- Yeah… this time 'round I counted 3.5 reviews. Why? Because Kurama Stalker's reviews were dementedly defective. Ha. I rock. Not. Lord, I can't force my brain to work today… there's so much Japanese in this chapter. I don't know; I was in a mood. Tell me if it's really annoying. Or better yet, if my grammar sucks.

The quote is from Rurutia, whose music you must try if you haven't ever. There's an mp3 on my site… listen to it. She can't really sing, but somehow it all works out.

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_kurushimi no saki ni shika mienai_

_tokubetsu na basho ga aru yo_

_tsukurareta shiawase no naka ja_

_jibun nante mitsukaranai_

there is a special place

that can only be seen after you have suffered

you can't find yourself

in the midst of artificial happiness

(neo (rurutia))

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Hiei hovered in a sort of fantasy world- not quite dead, but not fully alive... he could feel the agonizing pain of his wounds almost as clearly as he could see the blood drenching the ground, leaving a stain that would never wash off.

The one comfort he had at the moment was that his father had gone, although, considering the circumstances, that wasn't precisely _good_. He had been saved more than once by the fact that he was an immensely qualified punching bag, who could not possibly have been so amusing dead. However, without someone to notice his condition, he was in grave danger.

He knew that he had to move, at least to stop the flow of blood, but he couldn't do it. Everything was so heavy; the air itself was choking him.

"_Na…_" he whispered. "_shinderu ka? dame yo… kono mama ja…" _

Am I dying? I can't… not like this…

That's stupid.

Of course you're dying.

Unless…

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The bell rang, and Shuuichi sat at his desk in full anticipation of revealing THE TRUTH to Yukina. His mind was temporarily boggled, though, as it dawned on him that Hiei was nowhere to be seen. This did rather put a damper on his diabolical plans…

"Yunsensei?" he ventured. "shitte imasu ka? Hi- Takahashisan no toko?" Do you know where Hi- Takahashisan is?

The teacher shook his head with a vague expression of concern. He had some suspicions about the boy's home life, although he could never be taken seriously. After all, it was plausible that he did actually get into fights on a regular basis, given his attitude in school, but all of Yunsensei's instincts went the other way.

Shuuichi pouted. Hiei was probably hiding at home in fear of enlightening Yukina. Alas, such a coward…

"Can I take his assignments to him after school? He _is_ my partner, after all."

"Of course," he replied, a little surprised at the depths of worry Shuuichi was clearly exhibiting. "Do you know where he lives?" He had the feeling that the location would come as a shock to the boy, sheltered as he was. It was doubtful Shuuichi had ever before met someone from that part of town, let alone been there.

"Iie…"

Wordlessly, he copied down an address and handed it to him. There was no point in finding the phone number; the phone was very nearly never functional, as he knew from many failed attempts at scheduling a conference with Hiei's father.

Shuuichi nodded his thanks.

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"Umm." Shuuichi had encountered an Obstacle. Specifically, the door. The evil door, which had no doorbell, no knocker, and nobody answering. He was terrible confused, as he had been raised not to go into people's houses uninvited. It took a while, but he finally reasoned that Hiei was avoiding him, and since his actions were going to be for his own good, it was all right to break into his house. The door was unlocked anyways…

There was a pool of something on the ground next to the door when he poked his head in, and the whole apartment smelled of something he couldn't place. He stuck a finger in the sticky liquid experimentally before he realized what it was.

"No way…"

The last time he'd even seen blood was when his mother had been in the hospital and had had blood drawn.

"Hey… is anybody here?"

There was no answer, except for a brief, almost inaudible moan. Shuuichi turned and looked around curiously, wondering if he'd imagined it. No… there was a trail of blood leading to…

He muffled a scream, dropping everything.

"Mina… mi…"

"Takahashisan...?" It couldn't be. "What happened to you? Were you in a fight?"

"One… could say…" Hiei's now breathy voice, once so brash, had lost all of its insolence.

"I'd hate to see the other guy," Shuuichi joked a little too uncomfortably, laughing a little too loudly. He had no idea how to handle the situation, this teenager left alone, possibly to bleed to death.

Hiei laughed, the sound coming out as a hacking cough. "Oh, he's just fine," he spat with a great deal of vehemence, especially given his sorry condition. "Knowing him, he's drunk somewhere right now. Awfully nice of you to worry about him though." He lifted his head, wincing in pain as he did so. "Why're you here anyways?"

"I brought your stuff," Shuuichi answered hopelessly. "Umm… do you have first aid stuff here?"

"Down the hall, second door on the right, top shelf of the second cabinet."

Wordlessly, Shuuichi brought back all the things he could conceivably hold and began attempting to treat Hiei's wounds. "Ummmmm… who did this to you, anyways?"

Hiei twitched as Shuuichi pressed down on his neck. "Lemme do it; you're incompetent."

"I took first aid!" Shuuichi exclaimed indignantly. "And I _passed_."

Hiei just shook his head (lightly, so as not to lose any more blood), and began to do the job himself.

"You act like you do this a lot. Who _did_ do this?"

"Mrrghfrrrhgheerrr," Hiei muttered, wiping the blood around his mouth. "Although I don't really like calling him that; it's something of a lie."

"Who?"

"My father. You deaf?"

Shuuichi sweatdropped. It seemed he had quite recovered… "But… why would your father do something like that? Isn't he your _father_? Parents are supposed to take care of their kids." He sounded petulant; that happened to be one of the guiding truths of his life.

"You have got to be joking."

Pulling the bandage tighter, Shuuichi frowned. "If you say so."

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Well, that's my chapter, two days late. Sorry… things happened… math competitions… computers at school being down… me getting an adorable baby hamster… (anyone wanna suggest a name for him? He's a Siberian dwarf…) Anyways, thanks for the reviews…

You can see now that Shuuichi is very sheltered. Heh… Despite all evidence to the contrary, he can't believe that a parent would be so cruel. That's why before he never realized Hiei had blood on him. The facts were staring him in the face, but it was against all "reason". Such a tragic story…

I'll be able to write more over the break, I hope…. Review review review please????? (geez, I feel like a mendicant…)


	8. illusory wind

Disclaimer- Yeah, over Thanksgiving break I went out and _bought_ YYH. For two dollars. And two cents. And a peanut.

AN- Five whole entire reviews in one day! Plus two later. FOR A TOTAL OF SEVEN! Whee!! (spazzes in circles…) Gomen ne.

Wah… (eats hand) I can't think of any cute lyrics… I'm kind of in a hurry to get this written… so here's something irrelevant (only the first line has anything to do with anything…)

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_donna koto mo yareba dekiru tte mono ja nai_

_dakedo muri o shichaou_

_jibun o koetai kara_

_kanarazu tsukamaeru saikou no shiawase_

it's not like you can do anything if you just do it

but I'll still do more than I can handle

because I want to surpass myself

I'll definitely achieve the greatest happiness

(Winner (Fushigi Yuugi))

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People are very good at seeing only what they expect to see. They shape their own views of the world, finding a way to express anything and everything so that it suits them. Failing that, they even ignore what happens, since it cannot be real.

"There must be a reason."

Shuuichi, sheltered as his life had been, could not comprehend what was happening, even as he helped bandage Hiei's wounds. He knew that people were nice, and therefore it was implausible that Hiei's father would have done something like that. It would be okay. He would go home after this, and the next day at school Hiei would be all better. Of course, if that didn't work, there was always the possibility that Hiei's father had never hurt him in the first place.

It took him all of twenty seconds to convince himself that Hiei was lying.

"Nee, Hieisan."

"What?"

"Did your father really do this?" Alas, Shuuichi, ever the sparkling conversation-starter.

Hiei, still careful not to move his body, rolled his eyes in an exaggerated expression of disgust. "You stay quiet for five minutes, and this is what you come up with? Nah, my 'dad' didn't do this. I _actually_ skipped school so's I could go to the zoo and fling myself into a herd of elephants. I do it every year as a birthday present to myself, as a matter of fact."

"You did no…" He stopped short. "It's your birthday?"

He smiled almost maniacally, the intense irony spilling over. "Yesterday was my sweet sixteen. Not that Daddy dearest had the grace to remember."

"So- sonna…" (1)

Hiei's smile settled into a more real one. For a moment he looked almost… happy. "Ah, well he's always been a horrible person. No love lost, what can I say. Nobody's ever really liked me; I'm used to it."  
"That's not…" Understanding dawned on Shuuichi's face. That was why he hadn't wanted Yukina to know about him. He thought she would be like all the other people in his life, whose behavior seemed to justify the idea. And Shuuichi, in his naïve belief that everything could be made okay, resolved to _really_ tell Yukina the first chance he got, no matter how Hiei protested.

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"Takahashisan?"

Hiei looked up, curious. What could Yukina possibly want with him?

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"Minamino!!!!!" Hiei glared daggers at the pretty redhead coming out of the school building.

"Nani yo?"

"You told Yukina she was my sister," he hissed, dragging the other boy off to a place where he could yell to his heart's content. "I _told_ you not to do that! I told you I told you I told you!"

Shuuichi looked down on him with the most innocent look imaginable. "What could possibly make you think that I did it?"

"What makes me-------" He stood back for a moment to fume. "I **told** you not to do that. Why the hell would you?"

"I…" To Shuuichi, the whole deal had been perfectly clear. Yukina needed to know, and Hiei would be happy once he knew that he no longer had to hide the truth from her. "I wanted to show you she wouldn't hate you."

"What gave you the authority, huh?"

"I saw you yesterday, and… God, Hieisan, I just wanted to help."

"What yesterday?" Hiei's eyes became so dangerous that Shuuichi cowered instinctively. "And I don't need any help. Not from _you_."

The way he said the word made Shuuichi feel lower than pond scum. Tears began to well up in his once shining green eyes, and Hiei immediately felt slightly remorseful.

"Please don't cry; I didn't mean what I said… PLEASE don't cry… What _are_ you, a girl? Oh no, I didn't mean that either…"

Shuuichi sniffed a little louder than was actually necessary.

"Look, I'm really really sorry. REALLY sorry. I swear I didn't mean anything I said. Besides that I'm sorry. 'Cause I am. Come on, stop crying… What's it going to take to shut you up, huh?"

"You're so bad, Hieisan…"

"_I'm_ bad? Who exactly is it who's sitting there sobbing because he told a secret he said he wouldn't tell? You're laughing now! Why are you _laughing_? You were crying all of two seconds ago!"

Shuuichi grinned stupidly, face still streaked with tears. "You're horrid at making people feel better, you know that?"

"That's not my problem!" Hiei swore, going on a miniature rampage through the street. "You are so darned annoying, Minaminokun. See if I ever tell you anything aga---- Iteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" The wound on his side reopened, and he fell down with a distressingly loud thud. "Look what you made me do, you little freak!"

The crystal tears came back to Shuuichi's eyes. How could he have forgotten Hiei's condition… But he knew that wasn't the question. It's so easy to forget something if it isn't real. He ran to help Hiei up, nearly falling himself in the process. "Gomen nasai!"

"Don't you start apologizing," Hiei ordered, still trying to stand up of his own accord. It may have hurt like anything, but he had a stubborn pride that would have been the envy of anyone who didn't know what he had endured to develop it. "I don't have time for this; I have to get home like right now."

"You're going home? But…"

"You think this is the first time something like that happened?" he scoffed. "Of course I'm going home. It'll be worse if I don't. Be serious. Where else could I possibly go?"

"You could…"

"Yeah, for maybe a week," Hiei broke in before Shuuichi could finish his sentence. "Then what? Your mother wouldn't let me stay forever." He sighed. "Some things you can't really change, ya know?"

"But your father's…"

"You can't do anything about it. See you around, Minamino."

Shuuichi watched his retreating back for the longest time, thinking. Sure, maybe he was on the idealistic side, but he rather thought Hiei was too cynical. Surely there was some way to get Hiei out of what he had to put up with…

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(1) "sonna" is an absolutely Japanese word. It means "that sort of", and is kinda an expression of disbelief. The understood context is "that sort of thing (is so horrid)". It's often (wrongly) translated as "that".

Jeez, every chapter is on the short side… oh well, I tend to like ending it at this kind of place. Hmm… things are changing… Hiei's rather nice to Shuuchan now… sort of, anyways. Okay, the next chapter will be 2,000 words if I have to beat myself over the head and update twenty days late to do it. HA.

Ehehe… thanks for all the reviews, by the way, they've really made me happy happy. どおおおもありがとうございました！


	9. lost butterfly

Disclaimer- Argh, I'm sick of writing these. I'm not creative enough for this.

AN- TEN MILLION DOLLARS TO PICKLES, WHO REVIEWED IN JAPANESE! (sniff) I actually had to look the "subarashii" part up. I'm so used to seeing it in hiragana… けどね、とーーーーてもカッコいいよ、あんたは！ ((This is an edit of my original author's note, which was so optimistic…. See end for my list of lame excuses))

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_haruka na hoshizora ni yume wa mada miemasu ka?_

_osanai ano hi yori azayaka desu ka?…_

_tatoe tookutemo kitto tadoritsukeru tsuyoku shinjiteta_

_ano hi no watashi ga ima mo kokoro de nemutte iru_

can you still see your dreams in the distant starry sky?

are they more vivid than when you were young?…

I used to believe that I could achieve anything, no matter how far it was

even now, that me sleeps in my heart

(scarlet (Ayashi no Ceres))

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Shuuichi's arrival at home was much delayed by his argument/bonding session with Hiei, and so he was in so much of a hurry to get to some food that he almost didn't see his mother lying on the couch with a downcast look on her face. When he looked over, though, she quickly sat up and forced a wan smile.

"You're back late," she commented lightly.

He put his books down. "I was talking to someone… Is everything okay? You look tired."

"I went to the doctor today, and…"

Shuuichi heard no more, sick as he suddenly felt. In all his random worry about Hiei, he had almost forgotten his own mother's situation. It was the first time he hadn't remembered when she had an appointment.

"-and they're saying…" Shiori stopped, trying to collect herself. "They're not sure they can do anything at this point… it's gone too far."

"But…" His world was collapsing around him. His mother had been sick for so long that it had started to seem normal, like she'd never get well, but it would never get worse either. Almost as unconscious self-protection, he had not allowed himself to think about her. He talked about it, certainly, but never absorbing the meaning of his own words. And this…

"It might be okay, though. There's no need to worry yet."

He swallowed. "I… I'm sorry…"

"What for?" she asked curiously, sitting up a little straighter, though with no little effort.

"I've been so busy with other stuff, I just haven't…"

"It's okay. You can't just worry about me all the time, Shuuichi. You have to talk to other people once in a while."　

Shuuichi nodded slowly, not sure he quite agreed, but willing to listen if it made his mother happy. Shifting his weight from one leg to another, he spoke in a voice that was softer and closer to tears than he might have liked. "Do you need anything? I can bring you food…"

"That would be nice. Thank you."

Swallowing hard, he nearly ran out of the room. It still didn't seem real, not at all, but in another part of him, he knew his mother would never have lied about something like that, and that no doctor could be so cruel. Still, the only remaining conclusion, that maybe she _was_ really dying, was far too surreal. She was his mother, for the love of God. She had been with him, by definition, since the beginning. She was a constant in his life, and he knew that constants did not just leave you. It couldn't be.

He smiled a little at this thought. So she wasn't leaving, and everything was all right. As he brought the plate over to her, he even managed to look passably cheerful, and felt almost good enough about the whole situation to ask something that had been bothering him.

"If you knew someone who was being abused, who didn't want your help… just theoretically, you know… What would you do?"

A number of things ran through Shiori's head at the same time when she heard that. It became perfectly clear what was happening to Shuuichi's study partner. And for a moment she worried for him, who recovered so quickly from so large a shock. And then she felt jealous that he had so easily discarded her… but these feelings she pushed far back, reminding herself that he had to learn to handle life without her, as morbid as it seemed.

"I don't know. What do _you_ think you should do?"

"I want to…" He shook his head violently. "I shouldn't be bothering you with all this."

"No, it's perfectly all right. I'm fine… You don't have to keep worrying."

"Don't lie to me," he whispered. "I'm not a child anymore."

Something flickered in her drawn face. "I know."

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There is a concept called the "butterfly effect". The idea goes something like this- a butterfly goes off along the yellow brick road, and fifty million people die in a mysterious cyclone in a galaxy far, far away. Yet it is a serious theory, and one that is very real.

Even the smallest of actions has devastating consequences.

Innocence can bring suffering far beyond that which evil causes.

But Shuuichi didn't know that. In his world, good brought about good. What goes around comes around, and he was certain that the deed of "rescuing" Hiei would be justly rewarded.

We see people who are pure, and we strive to protect them and shield them, because they remind us of what we once were, and what we will never again be. Never do we consider that maybe… we shouldn't.

One butterfly can ruin the lives of so many others… and its own.

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Two thousand? Oh well.

I was all set to do the two thousand, but then,my baby hamster, mentioned before, up and kicked the bucket. I immediately fell into a depressive funk, and could not bring myself to work on this fic. Story of my life.

Despite my unwillingness,I worked hard to meet my "deadline",but then I realized… this can't be twenty days late, because twenty days after the last update, I'll be halfway across the country. Oops. So here's like a half of the chapter. No da.

The reviews were extraordinarily nice, and the next chapter is coming up as soon as I finish, which will hopefully be soon thanks to the break. Love you all!


	10. like an angel, angels fall

Disclaimer- Dooooooood, 'tisn't mine….

AN- Reviewreviewreviewreview! I GOT LOTS OF THEM! (counts on fingers… _runs out of fingers_)…. If I run out of fingers, it means I got _double-digit_ reviews! I am prancing! Pranceprance! From now on, I'm only updating during the nondenominational winter holiday! I HAVE LEARNED! (falls over dead).

This chapter was written in a daze around two AM, so I cannot be blamed for any… issues. In any case, I can't vouch that anyone will understand how Shuuichi feels here. Hmmm… And the failureful admissions of "liking" come out in this chapter. Just as a warning.

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_inoritai koto ga aru hitotsu dake _

_asa wo matsu shizukesa no naka de_

_dare ni? doko ni? kamisama nee iru no?_

_watashi no taiyou wa asu mo noborimasu ka?_

_nee oshiete... dareka kotaete..._

there's just one thing I want to pray for

in the silence as I wait for dawn

to whom? where to? god… are you there?

will my sun rise again tomorrow?

please tell me… someone answer me…

(watashi no taiyou (Kokia))

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The line between flaws and perfection is so thin, it mesmerizes. We watch the people we worship fall with an almost morbid fascination. Those who have never failed do so in a most spectacular manner, because they cannot see beyond what they once had. They can rise once more, but the glass has been broken, and the brilliant flowering of cracks will remain.

Entropy: to repair something, something greater must be sacrificed.

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"Oi, Minamino."

Shuuichi blinked as a hand moved in front of his face, waving back and forth. His vision cleared after a moment, and he saw Kaitou standing by his desk, staring intently.

"Hmmmm?" he asked lazily.

The linguist's mouth opened for a moment before closing again with an almost audible slam. He motioned Shuuichi to look at the list on the wall, which the redhead did obediently, raising green eyes faded from lack of sleep.

One. Kaitou Yuu. 493 points.

Two. Minamino Shuuichi. 490 points…

Second. He was second.

His breath came now in short gasps, quickly brought back under control. Ha, it was a funny joke they'd set up for him, wasn't it? But nobody was laughing, and nobody smiled back when he forced his face to look at least vaguely pleasant. Oh god, it was a dream; it had to be. He wouldn't cry. Not over three filthy points, not over numbers that were all going to be gone when he woke up.

"Show me your test sheet." There was no answer, so he picked it up himself. "So many mistakes in calculation… It's somehow like you, but… so many. Why didn't you see…"

Shuuichi nearly choked. For some reason, he wanted to pick Kaitou up and shake him until his brains exploded, for the sin of not knowing. He'd been worrying for Hiei, who came to school with wounds that must have been beyond agony, and when he worried, he felt guilty, because he knew his mother was dying.

Dying. What were three points to a child about to lose the only person who had ever mattered to him? If Shiori's last memory of her son was that he had failed her, what would he do? The thought was actually comforting, as he was naïve enough to believe that no god could possibly have been cruel enough to ruin him so completely.

"It's no big deal," he reminded Kaitou with a graceful smile. "Just three points, ne? I'll cream you next time."

He'd always been a good actor.

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"Hieisan? Please… can I walk home with you?"

Hiei crammed the last papers into his bag with a moderately confused expression. "Umm… I suppose. It's a free country. Why do you want to?"

"I…" He made random hand motions to indicate his inability to express his intentions before changing the subject. "I was wondering about you. I mean, those look really painful." His long, slender fingers, the fingers of a pianist, traced a bruise he would never have noticed just weeks earlier.

"Fun. I've had worse." (Fun hn. There is no "h" sound in Japanese all by its lonesome). "Say, won't your mother worry if you're not home on time?"

Instantly Hiei knew he'd hit a very bad topic, as Shuuichi's face contorted.

"She will… but I can't face her."

"Why?" Hiei cocked his head. He'd always seen Shuuichi's relationship with his mother as the pinnacle of all relationships. "Oh, don't tell me this is about that stupid class ranking. If that's it, you've got no worries. At least she won't beat you for it." A bitter laugh came from his mouth, incongruous with his childish features.

"I feel like… like I've let her down." Tears threatened to spill over, and he wiped them away before continuing. "She's always had such ambitions, and I try, I really do. Do you know what my name means?"

"What, Minamino?" It seemed like a random query, but Hiei thought for a moment. "Well, eastern ambition is what I'd come up with on the spot, but—"

"No, 'Shuuichi'. You've seen it, right?" Raising a finger, he traced it in the air as they walked. "Shuu is the kanji in 'hiideteiru', to excel. And ichi-" He slashed one horizontal line, "-means one. First."

"So… sonna no…" In all these months of seeing the name, he'd never really associated it with a meaning. Shuuichi was right… Someone with a name like that was never meant to defer to anyone else. To try to live up to that was an impossible task for even the best of the best.

"Do I _look_ different, Hiei?"

"Huh?" The strangeness of the question caught him off guard, along with the sudden yobisute (dropping –san and just using the given name; yes, the Japanese have a word for it).

"I'm still the same person, right?"

"I would assume so, yes…"

"Then why do I feel so useless? I should still be 'Minamino Shuuichi', but I can't be. He isn't ever second best. But why should it matter? I mean… dammit… why should it be so different if I'm the same person?"

"It's okay," Hiei said, shrugging. "Maybe it isn't actually that different."

This idea seemed to be revolutionary to Shuuichi, who continued the walk in silence, mulling the whole thing over. They were nearly at Hiei's apartment before he thought to speak again.

"Hiei… thank you."

"Now what?"

"For listening to me. I know you have way bigger problems than I do, but you're the only one I can really…"

"Please, I'm drowning in sap."

"I'm being _serious_," he said pointedly, though a small grin decorated his face. Hiei could not have possibly known how funny he was… "I really like you, ya know," he went on.

"Yeah yeah, me too," Hiei muttered.

Having carefully tested the water (sort of), Shuuichi dove straight in.

"No, I _really_ like you."

"Yeah, yeah… come again?"

The deed done, he suddenly began to fidget and speak very agitatedly. "I _really_ like you. I mean, if you don't feel the same way I'll pretend this never happened, if you want, that is, but I just wanted to say… 'cause you've helped me a lot and I guess… I'm just babbling now, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are."

A pause.

Silence.

"Well, say something!"

"You wouldn't be lying, by any chance, would you?" Hiei asked carefully.

"No, of _course_ not! Why would I-" Realization dawned. "Oh. I see. Hiei, I promise you, if I try to hurt you, ever, you have permission to kill me."

"Really truly?"

"… Yeah." Something about Hiei's eagerness bothered Shuuichi.

"With a _katana_?"

"Ummm…. Yeah."

"And a toy lightsaber?"

"You know, there's a line around here somewhere, and you shouldn't cross it…"

"Say yes!"

"Fine, if it makes you happy." Shuuichi gave him a suspicious look. "I don't know why you would have a toy lightsaber or what you would possibly do with it, but maybe it's best I live in ignorance."

"Darn straight! You have yourself a deal!"

"It's not a deal, Hiei."

"Really?" He cracked up, insanely happy for reasons he didn't quite comprehend.

"Uh huh. Well… thanks again. I really feel better now, but I have to get back. See you 'round." Shuuichi turned around, adjusting his bag.

"The lightsaber really lights up, you know."

Walking out the door, he raised his eyebrows. "Good bye."

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Hiei wandered toward his room, whistling a random song to himself. In fact, he was hyper enough to maybe even overlook the fact that he had just tripped over a newly emptied beer bottle, which had crashed near his feet.

"So."

He fell silent instantly, looking up. "F… Father."

"So not only is my son a failure and a disgrace, but he's a fag on top of it." Kizato stood up shakily, from both the alcohol and his anger. "I should have killed you before. I _will_ kill you, and save everyone else the trouble."

His voice came out as a faint breath of wind. "No…"

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Shuuichi stopped halfway to his house, with the most horrible premonition.

_Hiei_…

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Wow, that took ages. Sorry about it. And sorry that the "romance" is so lame. But it's not like they would really have suddenly gone all huggy-kissy, you know. … Right?

If you're curious about Shuuichi's nervous breakdown, that's the mirror of the beginning of this school year for me. I have written in one notebook, in huge letters, "What happens when perfection cannot live up to its own ideal?". I know what happens, and someone who has never had everything can't fully appreciate the pain.

Oh well. That's not the point. The point is that Hiei's gonna die if Shuuichi doesn't get there in time. Which he will, though. Maybe. Possibly. Would I be so cruel?? Bwahahahaha.

Reviews are the happiest things that ever happened to me. Plus, I need support, as this is the first time I ever got around to even hinting that people liked each other. (puppy dog eyes) Pretty please with a plushie on top?


	11. for your sake: happy ending

Disclaimer- Seeing as Kurama's in my closet, and Hiei's on the shelf, I'd _say_ it's mine. … … … (collapses in tears)

AN- Thank you for all the reviews… I reached double digits just a tiny while ago… yay… To Pickles, yeah, more would be great, but I shall console myself with the thought that genius is often overlooked (ha, shadowchan made a funny…haha…). But it's true! Often beautiful fics are deprived of the recognition they should get, whereas some fics lacking in originality, plot and grammar are showered with reviews. Take Kooriya Yui's _Balance_, for example. Brilliant, but mediocre review numbers. I mean, what's this world coming to?

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_oshiete tsuyosa no teigi_

_jibun tsuranuku koto ka na?_

_soretomo jibun sae sutete made_

_mamorubeki mono mamoru koto desu ka?_

tell me what it means to be strong

is it making it alone?

or is it protecting the things you have to protect

even if it means giving yourself up?

(hemisphere (RahXephon))

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Shuuichi ran.

He ran like one possessed, because maybe that's what he was. He knew the consequences if he didn't make it in time. The first few seconds found him with a plan involving the tearing down of a door and the removal of heads of certain people, but a few minutes of extreme sprinting cleared his head enough that he realized the inherent danger in such a clever plan.

He cursed under his breath, a violent exclamation that seemed to contradict his usual demeanor.

Every second that he delayed could cost Hiei his life, but every impulsive action could cost both of them their lives. He had to make correct decisions, and somehow he didn't feel that he was up to the task. How was a high school student supposed to handle it? His "perfection" was useless…

Quite suddenly, he was standing before the painfully familiar door, hearing the muffled yells of a man who just has too much anger to hold in, but a slightly enhanced turn of common sense which prevents him from screaming outright. He could almost hear what he imagined was Hiei's heartbeat, a terrified rhythm that echoed through the confined space.

But then… what could he do?

What could he possibly do to change what was happening?

He was an excellent debater, but what difference would that make to a crazed maniac intent on murder? So he was brilliant. Wonderful. For the first time, he felt totally, completely useless. But Hiei…

For all his worry about impulse, he flung the door open.

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People do the strangest things for what they perceive as love. Sometimes it's endearing, and sometimes it's absolutely frustrating. How many times has someone who seemed so unmovable done something stupid for someone else? But love and hate are two faces of the same thing, and when someone you love turns against you, that one person who brought you so much joy is the person who can hurt you the most. And it is hatred born from love that is most to be feared.

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"Shuu… ichi?!"

"Who the hell are you?" Kizato turned his head long enough to take in the pretty redhead standing, so innocent, in the doorway, looking almost revolted at what he saw. He judged, for all intents and purposes correctly, that this angel-faced child had never seen anything like what was happening before him. "What're you doing here?"

Shuuichi swallowed hard. Though the man's attention was now focused on him, he could see that the raw, red marks on Hiei's neck were nowhere close to fading. "Get away from him... What did he do to you?" Even to him, it sounded lame.

But it seemed Kizato was ready to rant. "What did he _do_ to me?! You think I wanted some useless kid? Huh?"

Mutely, Shuuichi shook his head.

"Of course I didn't want one. But I still tried to provide for him, pathetic as he was. And you know what I got back? God awful grades, fighting in school… And he wouldn't talk to me!"

Shuuichi made a few sarcastic comments mentally. Kizato's frustration was obviously real, but it was sickening that those were his complaints, when the child in question was being strangled.

"You wanted me to talk to you?" Hiei sat up, rubbing the side of his neck. "Some lot of father-son bonding that would've been. I can see the beautiful scene already."

"Hiei…"

"You brat!" (AN- I have to say, that has a lot more bite in Japanese. "kono kusogaki!")

There was an uncomfortable moment of silent tension, in which Shuuichi tried to think quickly. It was his forte, wasn't it? Finding a solution to a seemingly unsolvable problem faster than anyone else on the face of the planet.

And the solution presented itself, as it often does, in the most beautifully simple and elegant form imaginable.

A lamp.

Specifically, the floor lamp standing forlornly in a corner.

Shuuichi inched backwards toward it. Years of grime had distorted the metallic luster, but he had a premonition that it was very heavy, and very painful upon contact with someone's head.

Ever the observant fighter, Hiei noted both Shuuichi's movement and his destination. Involuntarily, though, his eyes widened in visible surprise, duly seen by his father, who, while drunk, was hardly stupid. He spun around to see his unwanted houseguest lifting the lamp experimentally.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

"It's very pretty," Shuuichi said wildly, the stress of the situation destroying his control over his actions.

Hiei gave him a look that passed for exasperated affection. "Shuuichi…"

"Shut up!" Kizato turned back to his son, anger twisting his features. He then turned back, promptly meeting the frantically swung lamp face on. He collapsed, his shocked expression mirroring that of Shuuichi.

"I just assaulted your dad, Hiei…" Shuuichi trailed off blankly.

"Yeah…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Shuuichi didn't take his emerald eyes off of the comatose body on the ground. "You know, I can't believe I did that. I cannot believe I just hit somebody in the face with a monster weapon."

"It's _okay_. Nobody ever used that lamp anyways." Hiei followed Shuuichi's gaze to his father. "I guess he really was screwed up, wasn't he? But it was true… he did try when I was about five. I'd forgotten… He worked pretty long hours and everything. Heh… 'mazing how people change, isn't it? I used to like the guy."

"Did you now?"

He looked a little embarrassed. "Well, he was my dad. Everyone likes their parents, right? I mean, all that stuff you keep spewing about how all parents love their kids, or what not, I used to believe that. But then he started hitting me, and it was like… like he betrayed me or something." It seemed Hiei had been carefully considering this topic for a while. "But I suppose it's all over now… I'm homeless, thanks to you."

"You're welcome," Shuuichi muttered, a little put out.

"Kidding, kidding." Hiei grinned. "Say, is that your phone in your bag?"

He jumped at the suddenly incessant ringing. "Darnit, that must be my mom… I'm only like two hours late getting home…" He took out the phone and turned it on resignedly. "Kaasan? Yeah, if the police come over, tell them it was self-defense. No, really. I'm mostly not kidding. I'm coming home as soon as I can; I'll tell you what happened later. Is it okay if I bring Hieisan? … No, I'm not sure. Bye."

"Did she try to take your head off?"

"No… she figured I was still at school doing a project or something, so she wasn't too panicky. She's always had a lot of faith…" He shook his head ruefully. "Not that I've ever let her down. Look, I'll call the police, and after they turn up, we can go home, okay?"

"Okay!"

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(bows) So there I was, checking my review alerts after the last chapter came out, and it was absolutely stunning. I love you all. And then… I got writer's block. And I say that in the past tense, but it's still there. I kinda forced this chapter out since it's been so long since the last one. Maaaaaan… I really don't like how it turned out…

But about this I must speak. I had no idea how Shuuchan was going to get Hiei out of there. I mean, in the fic I based this sort of on, the Shuuichi equivalent used her awesome powers to take over. But Shuuichi has no awesome powers. So I asked one of my friends and fellow writers for inspiration. Big mistake. She suggested both the lamp idea, and that Sesshoumaru randomly comes in to steal back something Youko stole from him in the past, kills Hiei's dad, then wanders back out. So between those two… I asked people if they thought floor lamp or table lamp was better, and this chapter appeared. So unlike the lightsaber, this is not my idea. Ha.

Thank you for all the reviews… oh my god… so many… I've let all of you down… (mumblemumble). In any case, this could be construed as the end of the first "arc", in which Hiei is tormented. The second arc is Hiei _and_ Shuuichi being tormented (I think). So… yeah. _Otanoshimi ni!_


	12. begin with pure snow

Disclaimer- I'm sick of writing these……………. Nobody cares about little children who adore characters….

AN- I cannot apologise enough for this lateness… If you saw my bio in the interval, you know I had a slight breakdown issue. I still don't know where it came from, but it was very annoying, and kind of scary. So then I stopped for a while… I write volumes when I feel sad, but for some reason I didn't want to write this… once more, sorry…

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_koko made no arasuji (story thus far)_

So then Hiei's dad hits him a lot, and Shuuichi takes it upon himself to fix Hiei's life, ignoring the fact that he doesn't even understand what's going on, but he starts to change, along with Hiei, and next thing you know, Shuuichi's expressing his extreme "like" for Hiei, and Hiei doesn't quite get the implications there, but all is well because Hiei's dad is knocked out by a lamp, and they head back to Shuuichi's house to make living arrangements. Dun dun dun…

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_kore kara hajimatteiku_

_futari no monogatari wa_

_fuan to kibou ni michiteru_

the story of two people

that begins here

is filled with uncertainty and hope

(depend on you (Hamasaki Ayumi))

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"He followed me home," Shuuichi said, smiling widely. "Can I keep him?"

Shiori looked, speechless, from her son to the sullen teenager in the doorway. She hadn't seen Takahashi Hiei for what must have been months, but he seemed a little different. A little calmer, a little more self-conscious, with a softening of his piercing ruby eyes… a little more like Shuuichi, who was apparently heading in the opposite direction.

"Shuuichi…" she began tiredly, pulling him off to the side. "We can't support him. You know that. The money your father left us has to go to your education. There's no way…"

"He has nowhere to go, kaasan. It wouldn't be that hard." His green eyes were pleading, ignorant of the burden he was asking her to bear.

Her face, painfully thin from so many years of illness, suddenly looked even more drawn. "You can say that as much as you want, Shuuichi. It can't change the fact that it'll be too much trouble. Surely you haven't forgotten that I'm sick."

This had what might have been the desired effect- Shuuichi reeled back as though slapped. "Of course I haven't! I… I'm sorry. I'll find another way." For a moment, the thought crossed his mind of guilting his mother into taking Hiei in, but he couldn't do that. Not to her.

Shiori watched his face for a few seconds, seeing the mixture of fear, anger, and absolute horror from her statement. He really was changing, slowly emerging from his protective cocoon. Somehow it saddened her; she almost wished that he could have stayed the innocent child, if only just until she was gone. He was still innocent, though, wasn't he? There is some glass so beautiful that nothing can sully it.

In the background, Hiei shifted from one foot to another, one foot to another, uncomfortably aware that the rift between mother and son was because of him. He considered just leaving, but found he couldn't, and it felt selfish. But he so wanted to stay…

There was silence. Shuuichi could not look away from his mother's dulled eyes, but he could not think of anything to say that wouldn't come off as manipulative. It was perhaps the first time he had truly noticed how much he had changed. Never before had he had nothing to say to her. It scared him- he didn't want to let go, but at the same time he knew that there was no going back.

"All right, Shuuichi."

"Hm?" He blinked, scarce daring to hope.

"He can stay…" Her face betrayed only a little of what it cost her to grant her son this request. "But if he causes any trouble, he has to go. Do you understand? I know he doesn't have an alternative… but I hope you realize that even such a situation should not be a reason to allow him to impose. We aren't as well off as you'd like to think."

"I know…" Shame was written across his pretty face. He hadn't meant for it to be such a big deal… It was just an idea that popped into his head, something that had seemed right at the time. That it would become such a cause for discomfort… "I'll try really hard. I can get a job after school or something; I'm sure they would make an allowance."

"No, don't. You can't slack off on your studies, no matter how noble your reason is. You have to get into a good university." Her expression softened after a moment. "We'll manage somehow."

"Thank you," Shuuichi whispered, more sincerely than he had ever said it. It was a gratitude he felt only because he was no longer primarily faithful to her, and somehow it was almost okay that way. "I'll still try to help a lot…"

With a last grateful look, he walked to where Hiei was still standing, grabbing his sleeve.

"Nee, nee, let's figure out where you're sleeping!"

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Why is it that children almost never understand? So many live in blissful ignorance of what is done for them. That they maintain their pure naiveté for as long as possible, parents hide their struggles, believing that they are protecting their children. Is that right? _Can_ that be right?

Children cannot stay that way forever, no matter how we wish for it. One cannot shield someone forever. Eventually, all barriers will fall. As we age, slowly more and more sacrifices become clear, even as we ourselves begin to venture out into the world, the shock magnified by our sheltered lives.

The transience of childhood is beautiful, but it is precisely that, transient. To preserve it is almost like freezing snow…

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"You really don't have much stuff, do you?"

Hiei scowled, tossing his uniform into a corner. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but what I have is what I get by finding cash places, or stealing from my dad's wallet. Not that that's ever been particularly rewarding."

"And school?"

Letting a worn-out notebook join the pathetic pile, he rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure 'tousan even noticed that he never paid for it 'cause I _personally_ humbled myself back when I had an interest in school and managed to get them to give me money. The jerk, he probably still thinks school's free."

A pillow landed on his head, and he looked up to see Shuuichi grinning. "That's yours. You get to sleep on the floor, lucky you. Well, I mean, unless you really want the bed or something…"

"I'm not that much of a freeloader," he protested. "I'll sleep on your stupid floor."

"Oh good," Shuuichi said brightly, tossing a blanket over. "I can see we're going to get along famously."

"Damn straight." Hiei gave the floor a tentative kick, testing out the hardness, and promptly fell onto the bed clutching his foot. "This is no floor! This is military-grade armor, you liar!"

"Oh?"

"Don't 'oh' me! At least get a rug or something for a poor kid in a strange home, you sadist!"

He laughed. "Dummy, the rug's on the other side of the bed."

"…"

"…"

"Oh."

Miffed, Hiei put the pillow and blanket down on the rug and proceeded to sit on them, pretty determinedly for a boy who probably weighed seventy pounds. To add to his display of extreme displeasure, he crossed his arms. Shuuichi shook his head at the childish petulance.

"So."

"What?"

"When's dinner?"

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EEP! (bows so low her face sinks into the carpet) I swear I didn't mean for it to take so long… and even now, as it is done, my internet is broken, so you're getting this slightly later than it _could_ have been. No da.

Shuuichi's finding that life isn't sparkly and sugar-coated in grand fashion, but for him there's a limit on the exposure. He's still so naïve that some things actually just fly over his head, with him oblivious. That'll change too, if my grand vision ever comes true. I'm not very good at keeping to it… But reviews shall help me and keep me alive! This week has actually been pretty depressing (the week where I had my breakdown was completely unextraordinary, which makes it all the weirder), so I'm not sure how I'll feel after it all sinks in, but most likely I'll be writing and updating 's soon as possible. Thanks for all the reviews I've already gotten, and peace and plushies to all. (ni'ko)


	13. these dusty words of consolation

Disclaimer---- Me lazy. Me no disclaim. Me get arrested. Ouch.

AN- Hi…. (blink) hisashiburi da ne, minna! I was considering for a while that maybe I'd just kind of… leavethe storyoff there… but then… I really wanted to do some more, so I'll see how much I can churn out. Yay!

As for my most recent reviewer, Animegirl13… As sweet as your sentiment is, I did mention the time that passed in my bio, and from what I can remember, you can't post an author's note by itself on this site. Additionally, if you really cared, you might have reviewed the story more often before…?

Whatever. I'm just slightly bitter. Omataseta ne… gomen!

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koko made no arasuji (story thus far)

Hiei is free as a bird, free to fly through Shuuichi's house, which he now occupies. No more issues with his abusive dad, no more worries… or are there? After all, Shiori wasn't big on this whole adopt-a-delinquent idea, and she herself is dying…

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Dinner at the Minamino residence even a week after Hiei's arrival was unusually subdued, with all three "family" members harboring their own secret worries- Hiei, terrified of making a bad impression, Shiori, thinking of the added cost he would bring and a doctor's appointment earlier that day, and Shuuichi, only just beginning to realize what he had asked his mother to do for him.

"So, Hiei," Shiori began tentatively. "Do you have everything you need?"

"Umm… yes. Thank you," he added as an afterthought.

"I gave him the blanket and the pillow," Shuuichi reported dutifully. "He said he can sleep on the floor for now." _Those_ words he regretted instantly, as the implication of discontent in the statement became clear.

"Yeah, it's fine," Hiei said quickly. "I really don't care, and it's nice of you to even keep me here anyways…"

Shiori nodded. "Do you have homework, Shuuichi? You do remember that you still have school tomorrow."

"No, we don't have anything."

There was a scraping sound as Hiei pushed his chair back and stood up. "Umm… I'm finished… it was very good… Where should I put the plate?" He jerked his head in the direction of the aforementioned china.

"You can set it by the sink for now."

He did so, walking out with an apologetic expression on his face. "I have some problems to do for math. I didn't get to finish them in class."

Shuuichi stood up halfway. "Do you need me to help?"

"I'll try them myself first." He tried to smile a little to avoid coming off as an ungrateful, self-confident idiot, the gesture nevertheless seeming to him a bit forced.

"Okay!"

Shiori waited until Hiei was gone and the door to the room closed before she spoke once more. "You know I had a doctor's appointment today." Her voice was filled with a forced calm.

"Yes." He had taken special care to remember this time. And though he dreaded the answer to his next question, propriety demanded it, and he had a duty as her son to know. "Any news?"

"It's spreading faster than they expected." She swallowed hard. "The doctors think I may not make it to see you graduate from high school. There are some things they can do, you know, to hold it off for a few months, but there's no way we can afford it."

The statement hit him with all the force of a bullet through the heart. "If… Hiei weren't here…"

Her face softened. "It wouldn't matter. The kind of money they're talking about is an amount we'd never be able to come up with."

He shook his head, refusing to accept her words. "What about the money for my schooling? Can't we use that? I've seen the bank statements; it _must_ be able to cover most of what you would need."

"No, Shuuichi."

"But…!"

"No! Shuuichi, look at me!"

He did so unwillingly, emerald eyes beginning to fill with bitter tears.

"You are _not_ giving up your entire future for something that might not even work. Do you understand me? This is my choice. _I_ choose to die knowing that you can pay for university rather than live wondering if you'll even be able to stay at Meiou." She smiled, a smile so convincing that Shuuichi began to wonder how many other times she had lied to him with that smile. Had she never stood a chance against her illness in the first place?

It hurt him to doubt his mother, but he was seeing more and more how much she wanted to protect him.

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Why is it that humans placed into terrifying situations react with denial? It seems a strange adaptation, one that costs valuable time and destroys the mind's ability to come up with a solution to the supposedly nonexistent problem. Yet on the other hand, the side that is opposite yet the same, it is a method of protection. We think more clearly in the absence of panic. Perhaps denial is a chance for the subconscious to evaluate the situation.

Still, it is a curious balance, one that could fall in any direction. Though it could be argued that, after a point, the truth and lies are only a matter of perception.

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"What took you so long?" Hiei asked curiously.

Shuuichi rubbed his eyes, wiping away the last vestiges of tears. "Talking to my mom." The sentence, choppy as it was, was all he could force out under the circumstances.

"Something wrong?"

"No."

Okay, so he was clearly lying. Only someone in denial would answer so quickly and so succinctly. This much Hiei knew, despite his tragic lack of experience in the realm of human feeling. "Umm… you know you shouldn't bottle it up, right?"

"Yeah, you're a shining example of THAT one. Can't you see I don't want to talk to you?"

"No, I _can't_, because you won't tell me that anything's wrong!"

"Just leave me alone."

"Fine. I'll be sure to stay on the far side of my little rug over here."

There was a long silence, during which Hiei sat down, arms crossed, mentally beating up his uncommunicative roommate.

After a few more minutes, Shuuichi's repentant face appeared over the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to yell at you. Are you mad?"

"Are you going to tell me what your problem is?"

"Ummm…"

"Then I'm mad. Horridly mad. I will curse you and your spawn for seventy-three generations."

When Shuuichi didn't show any sign of amusement, Hiei uncrossed his arms and stared the redhead straight in the eyes. "Come on, aren't you going to tell me what's wrong? I mean… Aren't we friends?"

"My mom's sick."

"Yeah, I think you told me before."

"Well, they'd been saying that it was just something she'd have to live with, but that she would actually live with it, you know, but today they did some more tests, more accurate ones, and now…"

"How long do they think…?"

He didn't answer for a moment, trying to collect himself, willing himself not to choke on his salty tears. "There might not be anybody there for me when I graduate."

"I… I'm sorry," Hiei whispered, the words of consolation sounding foreign to him. Then again, as a virtual orphan, he'd always found Shuuichi's relationship with his mother to be special. It was rather surreal that one of the most important days to both of them might be spent alone.

"I guess it had to happen one day. I just didn't want to believe it… I still don't want to. Any second now, I wonder if the doctors will call back and say they messed up the results. I don't want to be by myself."

"Hey, you won't be by yourself. I'll be there, won't I?"

He blinked in surprise, then felt a shadow of a smile flicker across his face. "Yeah!"

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That's the chapter… I apologise profusely for being late… Actually, I wrote the whole thing in one sitting, which took about an hour, which isn't so bad. Maybe my writer's block was psychological.

Please review… I love all of you! (Minus you people who don't show appreciation through reviewing. Does it really take that long to leave a short comment?)


	14. speak for me

Disclaimer: You know… more and more as I look at the prices for the Japanese tankobans… I _reallyreally_ wish YYH was mine. I'm buying the two tankobans that have Kurama on the cover (shut up…) but they're like 13 dollars apiece. Kurama is pretty and all, but…

AN: Sorry about lateness, the whole summer's gonna be this way. I'm going everywhere (camp, vacation, checking out colleges), with no computer access half the time.

By the way, 100 reviews… that made me happy. (And Animegirl13, you're completely forgiven. Heh. One of my friends called me a review whore… I wonder why).

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The news of Hiei's situation had spread surprisingly quickly- we always love to hear of others' misfortune- and it had taken only a day for everyone to be informed of occurrences both real and imagined. Takahashi's father was an abusive alcoholic who was currently languishing in prison. Takahashi was living with Minamino_saaaan_, a situation arranged through his skillful use of evil threats, holding Shuuichi at swordpoint, etc. After all, Takahashi was a gang leader with half of Toukyou under his control.

Shuuichi actually found it rather funny, and fully expected at any moment the announcement that, this just in, Takahashi is actually a unicorn sent by GOD.

That was on a good day.

On a bad day, he tended to have trouble ignoring the people who wanted so desperately to know why he would take in someone like Hiei. It was no secret that they were partners for math homework, but nobody actually believed that to be the sort of thing that fostered long-term live-in relationships. This observation led to a great deal of speculation, none of which seemed to come close to the truth- that maybe, just maybe, Shuuichi… was friends with Hiei?

Hiei, for his part, seemed not to mind, but then he always _seemed_ not to mind. Shuuichi couldn't see how the rumors could not bother him. He had never exactly been well liked, but at the same time, he had never warranted any such attention. The change had to at least have been disconcerting.

Then again, we're all different… aren't we?

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"Some girls tried to kill me," Hiei muttered as they walked into the house. "It was all 'oh my gawd, how dare you torment Shuuichikun?'" he elaborated in a falsetto, completely unsuited to the expression on his face, which was at the moment a mixture of disgust and disbelief.

"Really." Shuuichi raised his eyebrows. "And this amounts to an attempt on your life because…?"

"Have you ever been hit with the full force of a group of love-crazed girls?"

"Oh," Shuuichi said delicately. "Right."

Putting his books down, Hiei looked around curiously. "Umm… where's your mom?"

"Doctor's appointment." Shuuichi's emerald eyes were bitter. "They always try to make her go in for more testing, especially after they come up with a new life expectancy. Every time they suggest some other treatment option."

"Isn't that good?"

"We can't afford it," he replied shortly. "My mom is insistent that all of my father's money has to go to my college education. She wants me to have a future, she says. And it's true that even the best treatment would probably only give her a year more, but… Dammit… I don't want to lose her. I know the doctors are trying to help as much as they can, but they won't do anything really useful unless there's money involved, and I hate them for it. They're just building up false hope…"

Hiei nodded slowly.

"It's bad of me, isn't it? To hate people who are just doing their jobs…"

"No! Your mom is really important to you. Not that I can really relate to wanting your parents alive, but I think you should be _allowed_ to be selfish once in a while. You can't always pretend everything's okay."

"What about you?" Shuuichi asked after a pause.

"What about me?"

"Doesn't anything ever get to you? You have to have heard all of the things people are saying at school about you."

His expression settled into faint amusement as he began to count off on his fingers. "Well, let's see. First off, I'm a gang leader. I'm also a demon overlord, a guy with all of the teachers in his domain, a millionaire from all the tributes I get, Shuuichichan's oppressor," he said with a glance at the oppressee, "among other things."

"And none of the talk even makes you angry?"

"None of it's true," he said with a shrug.

"Yeah, but…" Shuuichi gestured with his hands, trying to get the point across. "The words don't mean anything, but the feeling behind it is real. You know? Like they do hate you, but they don't know how to express it, so they settle for accusations that can't possibly be true."

"I'm used to abuse," Hiei countered quietly.

Shuuichi watched his face for a few moments, something unreadable in his eyes. "Are you really?"

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It's almost sad how much people will do for even the smallest bit of attention. We want more than anything for others to talk about us, for them to acknowledge our existences. To that end, we become desperate. If they can't set ourselves apart by being brilliant, if they're destined to be nothing but still more faces in the crowd, then rather than do so, many go to the other extreme. Some threaten suicide, some change their appearances completely, all with the same mantra-

Look at me.

Then there are those to whom attention comes, even when it is unwanted. They shun the spotlight, though at the same time enjoying it. The fact that anyone would even notice they were trying to avoid attention is amazing in itself.

Please don't…

Look at me.

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"Why won't you open up, Hiei?" Shuuichi asked rather suddenly while they were working on trigonometry, a subject neither found extraordinarily challenging. "You tell me not to pretend, but you're always hiding behind a mask."

"Huh?" Hiei continued to work, pencil tapping his book as he tried to compare two similar triangles. It was accursedly difficult when you weren't willing to redraw them. "What do you mean?"

"It's been almost a month, and I still don't know how you think. All I know is that you're nicer than you look, and you have a future in theater, if nothing else. I have no idea what makes you angry or sad."

"That's easy," he answered, entering some numbers into his calculator. "My dad makes me angry. Not eating makes me sad."

Shuuichi had long since stopped working, watching Hiei scribble numbers on his paper. "Aren't we friends? I told you I liked you, why can't you trust me?"

Now he was writing out the law of cosines, carefully adding in the corresponding values. "Yeah, we're friends. I'm sure you have lots of friends. Do they all tell you every time they cry?"

"You know I only have classmates. You're the only one who counts as a friend."

"Is that so." He cursed under his breath as he realized that he'd put the decimal point for his first value in the wrong place. "I feel very special now."

"That's what I mean!" Shuuichi said exasperatedly. "You always act so sarcastic, like you don't care. I know you care _somewhere_ in there. You just won't let anyone see it."

"Should I? You can't change yourself very easily." He sighed, redrew all of the triangles, and made a mental note to find a better calculator. "What is it that people say? Be true to yourself?"

"Yeah, and no man is an island."

"I've always thought that one was a bit suspicious," he commented as he tried to remember his double-angle formulas.

"You're _not_ being true to yourself anyways," Shuuichi protested. "You're hiding how you feel because you're afraid of getting hurt. Why won't you believe that I'm not going to hurt you?"

"Aha. You know what I'm afraid of." Those demonic ambiguous cases… "You know, Shuuichi?"

"What, Hiei?"

"The fact that we're friends and you like me and I suppose I like you too and we're living together, all of that…" He wrote the correct answer in the blank. "It doesn't mean I have to tell you anything, you know."

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Alas, poor Shuuichi. How he suffers… I don't know. I don't like to have tension in relationships (it makes me sad…) but I felt that was the natural flow of the story, so ha. Hiei still has a strong self-preservation instinct against having people he loves hurt him.

Yes, the chapter was short. I am in a hurry… this took me quite a while and I have to pack for a long journey… No idea when the next update will be…

Ah, to lunarmercury: Hiei is not living with Yukina for a number of reasons. Firstly, their mother ditched him when he was born, so he has some reservations. Secondly, for some reason he finds it easier to impose on friends than family. It's a psychological thing… Thirdly, it makes an excellent narrative device. And fourthly… I forgot to consider it. (sweatdrop……)

Please review… now that FF has these excellent stat things, I'm going to cry if I get 2309857986798 hits and 2 reviews.


	15. how do they rise up

Disclaimer: If dedication actually counted for anything in this world, someone would already have awarded me a Kurama.

AN: This is kind of tragic… but here I am, writing instead of LEARNING. Yes, that's right. I'm being stupid in the middle of an educational facility. I'll shut up now.

By the way, this is WAY slower than it should be, because the i and k keys on my laptop don't work. Scary… omataseta ne… moushi wake aranu…

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"Takahashi?" Yunsensei called after class. "Can I see you for a few minutes?"

Hiei looked almost automatically at Shuuichi, who was putting his books in a pathetically neat arrangement in his bag. The redhead nodded slightly and began to walk out of the room.

"I'll wait outside, all right?"

"Yeah, sure."

Shuuichi had been speaking in those short, formal sentences ever since what Hiei now thought of as The Incident. It seemed that the whole thing had really hurt him, something that made Hiei feel bad, although not bad enough that he would think of apologizing. Not that he was a mean person, but apologizing was something that had never happened to him, and he was- had been- relatively certain he had come to terms with that fact.

That accursed Shuuichi, ruining the balance of his life.

"What is it?" Hiei asked now, finally going over to Yunsensei's desk. His math teacher was one of the few authority figures he actually respected (more or less), and he tried to arrange his face accordingly, into a neutral expression.

"Well, I first wanted to say that you have shown a great deal of improvement over the past month." As he spoke, he searched through his desk, finding the assignment Hiei had turned in during class. "Your papers are neat, correct, and turned in."

"Shuuichi helped me some," Hiei said with a noncommittal shrug.

"I see. The change in your family situation appears to have helped you. I had hoped it would happen sooner," he added a little dryly. "You are not inferior to Minamino in terms of potential, but only so much could have been accomplished under the circumstances."

"You knew about my… about what was happening?"

"I had my suspicions," he said heavily. "But there is little that one can do with only his suspicions, especially when he is merely a mathematics teacher. Besides that, I could hardly have accused your father without having at least spoken with him first, and he made certain that never happened."

That was too true, Hiei remembered. He had seen the phone disconnected, a pretty amazing shredder bought, and especially meetings _not_ attended. Of course, they were only vague memories, set against a backdrop of blood and pain, but they were real.

"Is that all?" he asked finally. "Shuuichi's waiting for me, so I should probably go…"

"How are things?" Yunsensei asked, almost as though he had not heard Hiei. "Will the arrangement with Minamino be permanent?"

"I guess…"

"That's good. I hope things work out. If there's ever anything you need to talk about, you can always come and talk it over with me. I know it must be very difficult for you."

"Oh, not at all," Hiei countered automatically, a little puzzled at the statement.

"Is that so? Then that really is good. I won't keep you any longer, Takahashi. Thank you for staying."

"Sure."

Yunsensei watched Hiei's retreat with a faintly sad smile. He had seen enough of the world to doubt outward tranquility, even tranquility perpetrated by a student he knew would never consciously hurt Hiei. Still, he hoped that this at least would work out.

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"What did he want?" Shuuichi asked, ever infinitely polite, never 'nice'.

Hiei shrugged. "He said I was doing a lot better in class. Seems he knew something about what my dad was doing."

"Oh. That's interesting."

There was a slamming sound as Hiei stomped on the concrete outside the Meiou gates. "Dammit, Shuuichi! Can't you be mad like everyone else! You don't have to _pretend_ we're on good terms at the moment!"

"Are we not?"

Hiei leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths as he attempted to figure out exactly how he was going to go about this. While he was perfectly aware that the whole thing was halfway his fault, that meant that half of the blame had to go to a certain redhead with an artificial smile and acting skills at least equal to his own. It seemed to him highly unjust that he alone was trying to salvage their friendship.

"Look, Shuuichi. I'm sorry I said all that crap, okay? Will you _please_ be mad and get all of that out of your system? I _want_ to be friends with you, but that doesn't exactly work so well when all you can do is be Mr. Super Considerately Polite."

Nothing moved on Shuuichi's face as he continued to stare holes through a point on the wall two inches next to Hiei's ear.

"You're stubborn as anything, you know that?" Hiei grumbled. "I'm _sorry_ I didn't grow up in a touchy-feely tell-all family full of warm happy love. I'm _sorry_ my mommy didn't love me and my daddy beat me. I apologize most profusely for my character failings, so will you snap out of it?"

"Fine," Shuuichi muttered, still sulking, but also trying not to laugh at Hiei's attempts to redeem himself.

"Shuuichi…" Hiei began threateningly.

He threw his arms up in a sort of exasperated affection. "Okay, okay, fine! I'm not mad!"

"Really?"

"YES!"

"Oh good." Hiei grinned, self-satisfied. "Then we're done here. I promise to be a tiny bit more open, okay? Let's go home."

"Finally."

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Balance.

All things in this world tend to equilibrium. Those in the center tend to stay there, content to give in to this inherent balance. It is those of the extreme who move so fluidly, such that at times the extremes blur and become one.

When two people settle for equilibrium between them, are they compromising their own identities? The center is a strange place in which to meet. Yet when all is said and done, maybe the entire cosmos is placed on a Mobius strip, surrounding those in the middle.

We are more alike than we care to think. Of course, isn't that what love is about?

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"Say, did you see?"

"I know! It must be true what they're saying…"

"Yeah, he's _definitely_ bribing someone."

The halls were filled with a buzzing sound as people discussed the newest class rankings. Shuuichi almost panicked when he realized that everyone was looking in his direction and back to the list, but he didn't. Suddenly, the whole idea of being first wasn't as important. It was a strange feeling of losing what was an integral part of him, yet he couldn't say he regretted it.

"Hey, Kaitou," he greeted distractedly as he tried to force his way through the crowd. When the other boy did not respond, he turned around. "Kaitou? Are you okay? You look…"

Kaitou shook his head. "I'm fine. Just a little surprised."

"Hm?" Now that he was close enough, Shuuichi could almost recognize the familiar kanji of his name on the first slip of paper. So that wasn't it. He strained to see the second paper, where he knew Kaitou's name should have been. He couldn't see from his angle or distance, but it seemed as though there was one character too many. Yukina, perhaps?

In his distraction, he ran into Hiei, who had slowly been ambling from the end of the list forward, looking for his name. Currently he was frozen in front of the second name, disbelieving eyes widened.

"Takahashi… Hiei," he read slowly. "Taka… hashi… Hiei."

Shuuichi looked up, seeing the characters posted to the right of Kaitou's name. "Hiei… you…"

"Maybe there's a mistake…"

"Believe me," Shuuichi said bitterly, "they probably checked this result fifty times."

"Yeah…" Hiei sighed, still staring at his name, fully expecting it to vanish at any moment.

"But congratulations, Hiei," Shuuichi said warmly. He found that he truly meant it.

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This took a little longer than it should have… I got to a point in the story where I was trying to figure out how the characters would have reacted, but I wasn't sure… Oh well. I don't get enough sleep, and I can't think straight at all. Hope the chapter isn't too weird because of that… oro.

This updating is really sporadic, but hopefully I'll get another chapter up before I get home from this happy place. Who knows… maybe if I work hard the story will be done by Christmas. (Ha. Haha.)

By the way, with the new implementation of the hit counter for _real_, I am very suspicious of my 80 hits within the past week and no reviews. Strange, strange. Haha, but to all the people who _did_ review, I love you… keep them coming.


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